http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/-t1.htm Sat, 03 May 2008 23:03:57 GMT 10 http://illiweb.com/fa/empty.gif http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/-t1.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/not-really-a-joke-but-doesn-t-fit-in-anywhere-else-t416.htm Tarfu When God created a United States Marine, it was into the sixth day of overtime. An angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" And the Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? It has to be able to think independently, yet be able to take orders; have the qualities of both a military mind and a compassionate heart; be a leader of junior Marines and learn from seniors; run on black coffee; ... Jokes Sat, 03 May 2008 23:03:57 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/not-really-a-joke-but-doesn-t-fit-in-anywhere-else-t416.htm#575 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/not-really-a-joke-but-doesn-t-fit-in-anywhere-else-t416.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/where-s-god-t395.htm Tarfu A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I’m still waiting." His ... Jokes Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:31:20 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/where-s-god-t395.htm#545 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/where-s-god-t395.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/3-reporters-and-a-us-marine-t394.htm Tarfu Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader. The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?" Dan Rather said, "Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowl full of hot, spicy ... Jokes Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:30:41 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/3-reporters-and-a-us-marine-t394.htm#544 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/3-reporters-and-a-us-marine-t394.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/go-find-the-hmmwv-keys-t317.htm Tarfu Yeah, I stole this idea from another spot, but its a classic. Who has had, or has given one of those "impossible" tasks, that new guys (boots, as we call them here), tend to not really under stand? What were some of the good ones? What I have done/have seen done is: -HMMWV Keys - good one for new drivers, they don't know that they don't need keys to start them -50 foot of flight line - How are they supposed to know thats where the planes ... Jokes Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:54:51 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/go-find-the-hmmwv-keys-t317.htm#451 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/go-find-the-hmmwv-keys-t317.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/gary-glitters-job-offer-t289.htm Cutaway Gary Glitter has been unemployed lately in his life, He got very bored so he decided to go for a walk down the street until he came across some road workers digging a hole to fix a broken sewage pipe. One of the workers shouted Gary Glitter over and said 'Hi Gary, I heard you have lost your music career, You can have a job with us anyday and you will get good pay. For starters would you like to help my friend down the manhole here?', Gary Glitter replied 'No way mate, I get all claustrophobic ... Jokes Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:44:32 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/gary-glitters-job-offer-t289.htm#412 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/gary-glitters-job-offer-t289.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/the-four-paras-joke-t288.htm Cutaway Found this joke taking the p1ss out the Paras "The Four Paras" By Mick Pinchen Former RM http://britains-smallwars.com/Anecdotes/FourParas.html Four Paratroopers were hopelessly lost on patrol. It was getting dark and had just started raining so morale was low. Blundering through the woods, they suddenly came across a deep, fast-flowing river. The first Para said "here goes" and jumped into the water, hoping to be able to swim across to the other side. However, he ... Jokes Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:43:24 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/the-four-paras-joke-t288.htm#411 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/the-four-paras-joke-t288.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/points-of-view-t279.htm Basti An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is S$%t." An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and jogged 18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good S$%t." A Navy Seal lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running ... Jokes Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:16:30 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/points-of-view-t279.htm#402 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/points-of-view-t279.htm http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/marines-disease-syndrome-harassment-t59.htm Cutaway Not to be confused with Legionairres Disease Marines Disease(AKA MD), A condition/infection of the brain, Not life threatening(But to others maybe?) which causes the person to have a natural compulsion to harass and disturb others in many ways(Compulsive Name calling, stalking, pestering others etc), Effects can be very horrendous and can lead the victim to SUICIDE. If the victim stands up to him/herself or retaliates, The person with MD does not like it and therefore goes mad!. People who ... Jokes Sat, 08 Mar 2008 21:18:04 GMT http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/marines-disease-syndrome-harassment-t59.htm#113 http://themilitaryforums.darkbb.com/jokes-f61/marines-disease-syndrome-harassment-t59.htm